A change in a child or young person's pattern of eating is likely to be a passing phase.
However, in a small number of cases the pattern may continue and start to become harmful. It is important to help these children and young people as early as possible.
Disordered eating
Disordered eating describes eating behaviours that are out of the ordinary, but do not need a diagnosis of a specific eating disorder. However, the behaviours are worrying, and disordered eating can sometimes make a person more likely to develop an eating disorder.
Signs of disordered eating can include:
- dieting or always skipping meals or snacks
- worry and anxiety about food
- feeling like you can’t stop eating or don’t have control over what or how much you eat
- feeling bad or embarrassed about what or how much you’ve eaten
- worrying a lot about food or feeling body shame that makes life harder or less enjoyable
- sticking to strict rules about food, eating or exercise that feel hard to break, even when they get in the way of life.
What can parents/carers do to help?
Eating regularly helps the body stay out of “starvation mode,” which can happen when we don’t eat enough. It also helps us feel less tired, moody or dizzy - these are things that can happen when the body doesn’t get the energy it needs.
- Try to stay positive: start with the absolute expectation that the young person will eat.
- Aim to put a regular pattern of eating in place.
- Start by encouraging 3 meals - breakfast, lunch and dinner - with 2-3 snacks in between (ideally eating every 3 hours during the day).
- Plan meals and snacks every day.
- Encourage eating together with a family member/friend.
- Try and stick to usual family foods and avoid “diet” and “low fat” products.
- Don’t talk about food or body image at mealtimes. Keep the meal relaxed, play background music, and keep things light-hearted with causal chat.
- Pay attention to activity levels. Often young people may exercise too much to try to lose weight, or to explain why they are eating as much as they are.
- After mealtimes, distractions can be helpful to reduce feelings of guilt which may happen after eating. Try playing a game as a family or watching a movie.
Eating disorders
If you’re concerned that a child or young person has an eating disorder, there are warning signs from NHS Inform you can look out for:
- spending a lot of time worrying about weight, body shape and food
- avoiding socialising if it involves food
- weight loss or weight gain over a few months
- lack of awareness or belief that they are developing unusual eating behaviours
- eating a lot of food very fast or food going missing
- going to the bathroom a lot after eating
- talking critically about their body
- over-exercising
- having very strict habits or routines around food
- avoiding mealtimes with others
- cutting food into small pieces or eating very slowly
- wearing loose or baggy clothes
More help and advice is available from NHS Inform, which will help direct you to the right support.
BEAT - The UK’s eating disorder charity, with information, resources, helpline, support groups and chatrooms.
Other resources
NHS Fife Nutrition and Dietetics - advice, support and info for infants, children and young people
Be Body Positive - NHS website with advice for parents/carers, young people and professionals on disordered eating, body image and ARFID. There are modules which explain disordered eating and how to help.
CaredScotland - valuable resource for parents and carers, which has facts on eating disorders and skills to help management such as mealtime support.
Centre for Clinical Interventions - special Psychology service based in Australia. The website has factsheets on eating disorders/disordered eating that can be printed or downloaded.
FEAST - support and resources for families affected by eating disorders.
